


Holding your small hand that’s prettier than the ocean

by Cloudyjongho



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: ADHD, Alternate Universe - Non-Famous, Alternate Universe - Not K-Pop Idols, Boyfriends johnmark, Fluff, M/M, Office worker Mark Lee, Police Officer Johnny Suh, soft
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-08
Updated: 2020-03-08
Packaged: 2021-03-01 03:02:20
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,660
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23068180
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cloudyjongho/pseuds/Cloudyjongho
Summary: Mark has ADHD and feels really restless.Good thing his boyfriend Johnny is there to calm him down.
Relationships: Mark Lee/Suh Youngho | Johnny
Comments: 10
Kudos: 137





	Holding your small hand that’s prettier than the ocean

**Author's Note:**

> There’s not enough johnmark so i had to change that.
> 
> Adhd makes people have different symptoms, these are just some of them i have read about and heard of.
> 
> [My curiouscat](https://curiouscat.qa/ramenofwonho)
> 
> [my twitter](https://mobile.twitter.com/ramenofwonho)

Mark had felt restless the whole day, starting from the morning. He had left home with an odd feeling of something missing. Something had been wrong, but Mark hadn't really registered what. After an hour of sitting at work the situation had finally cleared to him. He had an off day.

He had taken his medication in the morning and everything should have been just fine, but it wasn't.

He couldn't focus at work at all, he kept on biting his nails and his head was near to its explosion point. Mark couldn't get any work done. 

Sometimes he got these days that the medicine didn't work that well, and god he hated these days. He felt so energetic that he could run a marathon, yet he had to sit behind his desk and do stupid work.

"Fuck!" Mark hissed, as he hit his knee on the desk because of his habit of bouncing his leg up and down.

His laptop's screen was completely white, no words crossing the first slide of his powerpoint presentation. He just couldn't do it, he couldn't focus, he had to move. His cuticles were already angry red or bleeding from the aggressive way he peeled the skin off around his nails. He would regret this so much later, those things hurt like a bitch and it took ages to grow the skin completely healed back. 

Mark felt so ready to snap at the next thing that made his life hard. Like Donghyuck, for example. He made Mark's life hard.

He took last sip of the decaf coffee he had bought and sighed. Drinking real coffee was the worst thing a person with adhd could do if they already felt restless, but Mark was addicted and needed the taste of coffee inside his mouth. Decaf tasted bad, but he had no options.

"Hey Mark!" Mark heard Donghyuck yell from the door.

Oh no.

Mark lifted his head up and gave Donghyuck a weak smile before throwing a peace sign at his grinning best friend. 

"Let's go clubbing tonight! Friday! Turn up!"

God, why was Donghyuck so damn loud? 

"No, i'm not coming." Mark answered, taking his index finger's nail as the next victim to his teeth and bit down.

"Why? We have talked about this every since monday! You can't say no!" Donghyuck whined.

If it was any other day Mark would've laughed at Donghyuck's childish antics, but now he just felt himself getting even more irritated. 

"I'm tired." Mark answered, throwing the empty cup to his trashcan and drumming a rhythm on the table with his fingers.

"No you're not. I know you want to!" 

Mark really didn't want to. He felt anxious, restless, anguished and so near to explode that even the thought of going to a bar disgusted him.

The door opened again, and Taeyong walked inside. He was Mark's boss.

"Hey Mark, have you finished the powerpoint i asked you to do?"

Mark stiffened.

"No, not yet."

"Are you almost done? I need to send it soon." Taeyong walked nearer.

"Yeah, just few things and it's done." Mark lied.

He hadn't even started it.

"Nice! You can check these papers too while you work on it, right? Just read them through and check spelling mistakes." Taeyong said, smiling kindly as he gave Mark a huge stack of papers. 

Mark just stared at it. His brains refused to work and he felt anger bubbling inside his head. 

WHY WOULD TAEYONG GIVE HIM EVEN MORE WORK? HE COULDN'T EVEN FINISH THE ONE HE WAS GIVEN SIX HOURS AGO! WHY WOULD HE STRESS HIM EVEN MORE? WHY WAS DONGHYUCK SO DAMN LOUD? AND WHY THE FUCK COULDN'T HE STAY STILL?

"Mark? Mark?" Taeyong waved his hand in front of Mark's face. He had spaced out.

Mark's whole body trembled. He felt so angry, but so energetic that it drove him crazy.

"Yes?" Mark forced himself to sound calm.

"Here's the papers. And after you're done with those, come get more from my office, yeah?"

Mark stood up so fast that his chair fell over.

Taeyong and Donghyuck both startled a bit, their eyes wide open as Mark's chest heaved. His whole body trembled with the all energy inside him.

"I CAN'T DO SHIT! I CAN'T! I HAVEN'T EVEN STARTED THE POWERPOINT! I CAN'T FOCUS! WHY THE FUCK DON'T MY MEDICINES WORK? FUCK!" Mark yelled, hitting the desk repeatedly as hard as he could with his hands. 

Tears of annoyance burned in his eyes as he cursed and yelled, stomping his feet at the same time. 

"JESUS!" Mark yelled, squatting on the floor to push his hands to his hair and pull it painfully. The pain helped him bit, but not enough.

The space was completely silent. All other workers stared at him, their eyes widely open. They were probably scared of him. Just like Taeyong and Donghyuck too. They probably feared him. They all probably thought Mark would hit them.

Someone squatted next to him, and slender fingers started gently uncurling Mark's fingers from his hair. He let the person take them off, and now his scalp only ached from all the pulling he had done.

"Okay. Let's stand up, Mark. Donghyuck, turn off his computer and take his things. I think it's time for Mark to go to gym or home." That was Taeyong voice, and Mark let the older pull him up. 

He felt embarrassed because everyone was looking at his face. 

"Did you feel like this all day?" Taeyong asked him, his voice so soft and gentle that it felt like a blanket.

Mark nodded. Taeyong grabbed his hands to hold them, his left hand holding Mark's right and his right hand holding Mark's left.

"Oh poor Mark... Look at your cuticles. If you ever feel like this or your medicines don't work, please just call me and you can have a day off to do something. I know being at home is not an option but i can do something with you."

Mark nodded again, biting his lower lip while the blush of shame covered his cheeks.

"Mark, what about hitting the gym? Would it be fun?" Donghyuck asked, and Mark nodded. He needed to calm down and get rid of this energy.

He knew he would feel extra tired tomorrow after this hyper day, especially if he went to gym, but if he just went home he would do the same stuff he did at work. Bounce his legs and bite his nails, walk around.

Taeyong gave him a tight hug before Donghyuck dragged Mark away, telling what they would do at the gym. 

The gym felt good, but Mark still felt like a phone that had been charged over the night. Hot, but full of power. He had ran himself to death on the treadmill, squatted until his thighs felt like mashed potato, bench pressed to the point he almost dropped the thing on his chest. Both he and Donghyuck were sweaty and out of breath, the younger almost dead, but Mark was still biting his nail.

"Okay. This isn't it. Let me make a call." Donghyuck announced, coughing and walking back to the dressing room to get his phone.

Mark just nodded and walked back to the treadmill to walk calmly to get his muscles back to their relaxed state. Walking felt much better than sitting or running, and Mark sighed. This day sucked so hard.

After fifteen minutes Donghyuck came back and motioned Mark stop. He jumped off the treadmill after stopping it and walked to the dressing room with Donghyuck.

"Who did you call?" Mark asked as he changed his shoes back to his sneakers.

"Oh, i just told Taeyong that we're finished and we'll be going home."

Mark nodded and pulled on his jacket before just throwing his working clothes to his bag. He would go home with his gym clothes.

They walked out together, all the way to the subway station where they said goodbye and jumped to different subways. 

Mark let the underground train throw him around gently, just waiting to get home. He felt like shit. The gym had helped him a bit, now he didn't feel like running a marathon but he really couldn't stand still without doing something. 

"Gwanak-gu." The monotone voice said, and Mark stepped out of the subway before turning to left and walking up the stairs.

The smell of something delicious got to his nose, and he really wanted to buy whatever that was, but it front of the shop was a huge line. That meant standing, it meant the restless feeling. 

Mark sighed and continued walking forward. His home would be empty just like it was every night. Johnny, his boyfriend, was a police officer, and always did evening shifts. He started at 5PM and finished at 2AM, which meant Mark was usually already asleep when he got home. Johnny would always hug him when he got to bed, but Mark didn't even feel it since he was asleep. When morning came, Mark tried to be as quiet as possible to not to wake up the police officer. 

It was hard for both of them. They never had time together during weekdays. When weekend came around, they were both so tired of their jobs they just hung out at their home. 

Mark opened the door with his keys and stepped inside, closing the door after him. He kicked off his shoes and turned on the lights, lifting his head up to look around.

There, in front of him stood Johnny. He was smiling gently, his police uniform still on.

"Johnny?" Mark asked. This was unusual. Johnny was never home this early.

"Hey." His big boyfriend greeted him, still smiling.

Mark just stared at him.  
"What are you doing here?" He asked Johnny.

"I came to take care of my lovely little boyfriend."

Mark blinked. He hadn't texted Johnny at all?

"Donghyuck called me. He said you have an off day." Johnny said really softly, walking closer to Mark.

"Oh. Yeah, i do have. I yelled at Taeyong and just generally everyone so hard that even my own ears hurt." Mark mumbled.

"Oh my baby. My small baby, my everything. Got get a shower and i'll get some food for you, okay?"

Mark nodded and let Johnny kiss his forehead before walking to their bathroom and taking off his clothes. He stepped to shower and turned it on.

The hot water warmed up his whole body, his muscles finally loosening up even more. It felt good to finally get the sticky sweat off his skin and wash his hair.

He stood under the shower so long that the hot water turned his skin red and it itched a bit. Mark opened the glass doors and stepped out, taking a towel. He dried himself and wrapped the towel around his body, sighing at the clean feeling.

The door opened a little, and Johnny peeked inside. He had changed his clothes too, he didn't have a shirt on, only grey sweatpants. If it had been any other day Mark would've blushed and started feeling horny, but right now wasn't the moment, and Johnny knew it too. The big male just enjoyed walking around like that, and who was Mark to judge him.

"Great, you're ready. The food came, but let's get you clothes, okay?"

Mark just found himself nodding.

He felt so tired but so restless, so sad but so shit that he just let Johnny do whatever he wanted to. And luckily his boyfriend was the kindest human on earth.

Johnny took Mark's hand to his and lead him to their bedroom before giving Mark boxers. The smaller pulled them on, waiting for pants, but he only got Johnny's huge hoodie.

"You're not getting pants because we're gonna cuddle, and you'll feel too hot if you put pants on too. The hoodie is just because you look adorable in it and i know you like wearing my clothes." Johnny smiled, and Mark blushed before pulling the hoodie on.

He didn't have the heart to tell Johnny that he really wouldn't be able to cuddle, so he stayed quiet.

If it was the size of Johnny's, it was way too big for Mark, but it made him feel really safe.

"I ordered a burger for you."

Never had Mark felt so thankful. God.

"Thank you."

Johnny just smiled.  
"Let me get it for you."

Mark took a big bite of the burger, Johnny sitting next to him.

"Did you feel it since morning?" Johnny asked. He saw how Mark bounced his legs while eating.

"No, i just felt weird. After like an hour at work it hit like a truck." Mark mumbled, eating more.

"Okay. Tomorrow you'll be tired but the day after that it'll be good again." His boyfriend said, his voice low and calming. 

Johnny's hand massaged Mark's thigh.

Mark finally finished eating, and Johnny smiled.

"Get on the bed baby."

Mark cleared his throat.  
"Johnny, i really can't. I can't stay still."

Johnny tilted his head.  
"Are you sure? You look like you would need some hugs right now."

Johnny was right, he definitely needed them. But he just couldn't, no matter how hard he tried. 

"We haven't had a lot of time together." The bigger said.

"I know! It's not my fault you do that stupid evening shift!" Mark snapped again.

Johnny's hand stopped for a second before it continued massaging Mark's thigh.

"I know." Johnny gently said.

"I'm so sorry Johnny, i'm so so sorry." Mark whispered, his eyes moistening with tears.

"Don't apologize. I know what the symptoms are, i know you don't mean it."

Mark sniffled, the tears starting to fall down his face. He felt so bad.

"Baby, come here."

Mark's heart ached at how loving Johnny sounded, and he just crawled to Johnny and sat on his lap, wrapping his legs around Johnny's waist and pressing himself tightly against the american male.  
Their chests were pressed together so tightly that there was literally no space left between.

"It's okay. Cry. Cry it all away, i'm here with you. Johnny's here with you."

Mark sobbed and hugged Johnny even tighter. His leg still bounced, even if it was around Johnny's waist, but now he felt atleast a little better.

Johnny just drew circles to his back and hummed with his low voice.

Mark started to finally calm down, and he placed his head on Johnny's shoulder.

"Is cuddling still a no-no?" Johnny carefully asked.

"Please, cuddle with me." Mark whispered.

Johnny let himself fall in the bed to his back, Mark on top of him before turning to his side so Mark gently fell on the bed too. Mark wrapped himself around his boyfriend even better, pressing his nose against Johnny's chest. He still bounced his leg, but he just wanted to cuddle.

Johnny's hands caressed his body wherever they reached, first his head, then his back, then his sides, then his thighs before they locked around Mark's small waist.

Mark felt so safe.

They laid there in silence, just enjoying each other's presence now that they were together.

"I told Jongin that i don't want to do evening shifts anymore." Johnny suddenly said.

"What? Really?" Mark asked.

"Yes. It's bad for our relationship. We barely have time for each other and when we have we just... sleep and stay home. I want to take you on dates and do all this cute stuff" Johnny said, and Mark smiled.

Mark hugged him tighter.  
"Thank you."

"No need to thank me. We're both in this together."

They fell silent again before Mark pulled back and pecked Johnny's lips with his.

Johnny smiled, his strong arms tightening their grip around Mark's waist.

"I love you so much" Mark whispered.

"I love you more than anything."

Mark's leg had stopped bouncing, and he lied there, hugging his boyfriend. He had finally calmed down.

**Author's Note:**

> This was so soft omg🥺


End file.
